Helping Your Kiddo Navigate Big Emotions

All kids experience a range of big emotions. These big emotions can include frustration, disappointment, excitement, sadness, anxiety, and more. However, not every child knows how to deal with those emotions once they appear. When big emotions take over, it may look like meltdowns, yelling, or shutting down completely. While these moments can be overwhelming for children and parents, they also serve as an opportunity for growth and connection.

Validate the Feeling and Guide Behavior Naming Emotions

The first step in helping kids manage their big emotions is to normalize and validate them. Parents can focus on letting their child know that it is okay to feel mad or that everyone feels disappointment sometimes. Normalizing and validating the emotion can help reduce shame in your kiddo and teach that emotions themselves are not destructive. Guiding the behavior following the validation can help the child develop the understanding that although we cannot control our emotions, we can control how we respond to them.

Naming Emotions

From there, parents can focus on building their child’s emotional vocabulary. When a child can name what they are feeling, they can begin to develop self-awareness. The skill of self-awareness serves as the foundation of emotion regulation. It can also be beneficial to teach body awareness and help your child recognize where emotions manifest in their body. You might say, “Where do you feel it when you’re frustrated? Does your face begin to get hot, or does your heart start to race?” By learning body awareness, your child will be able to identify early warning signs before emotions become too overwhelming for them.

Coping-Skills Toolbox

Parents can also help their child create a “calm down toolbox,” which may include a list of coping mechanisms the child can use when intense emotions begin to overwhelm them. These coping mechanisms can consist of deep breathing techniques, drawing, listening to music, taking a break to cool down, squeezing a stress ball, interacting with sensory-rich objects, and many more. Consistent practice during calm moments makes it easier for kids to access these tools in the heat of the moment.

Big emotions are not something to avoid or see as “bad”. Big emotions are something to understand. When a child can learn how to recognize, name, and manage their big emotions, they can develop lifelong skills in self-regulation.

Written by Alyssa Meloche

Former Clinical Intern | Counseling Psychology Program

Western Michigan University